Always trust your intstincts

So, I made a vital error of judgement two days ago. I woke up feeling crappy. I contracted a mini flu from one of the kids in the wedding and was just starting to recover. I had gone mortorcycling with Matt a few days before, but Scott wanted to go today. I didn't want to go again, but felt bad leaving him to go explore the North all by his lonesome. You know, I knew where to get the fuel, how to get on the main roads, all that stuff. I got it in my head that he needed me to go and I couldn't let him down. I felt. Really. Crappy. Instead of telling Scott this I just sucked it up, popped a few pepto bismols and hopped on back. I thought, at least I'm not driving. I can just close my eyes and enjoy the cool breeze and take a day ride in the jungle. It was pretty hot that day and I didn't want to lie in the sun anyway. From the start I felt uncomfortable. Scott drives a lot faster then Matt and is much less careful of the potholes and speed bumps. Things didn't go right from the beginning. I told him to make a wrong turn and we ended up at this random village with no fuel and pretty far from Margao where the petrol stations were. We just got the expensive fuel from the roadside rental guys and hit the road. After about 25 minutes or so on the main road my nerves started to calm a bit, but I was still completely petrified. I had managed to get Scott to slow down a bit but not enough for my liking. Then, after we had pulled over for him to take some pictures he asked if I wouldn't mind driving for a bit so he can take pictures on the back. I was flabergasted. I had never driven one of these things more then 10 feet on an empty road and we were on a main highway. Instead of insisting no, I felt bad once again and agreed, I would just drive very slowly. So I get on the road and go 35 km/hr (scott was going 55 +) and everything is OK. Terrifying, but OK. Then he asks me to go around this round about and go back so he can take a picture. I was absolutely scared out of my mind. I didn't feel comfortable navigating this thing and there were trucks and cars everywhere- I made it around though and pulled over so he could take some shots. Then the bike woulnd't start. I was feeling anxious overall, the bike was so heavy I could barely move it and hold it up right. Scott walked it to the other side to start it and have easier access to the road again. My eyes were all watery so I put on his sunglasses under my glasses. The glasses kept falling off, the helmet was huge, everything just didn't feel right. So, he gets the bike going and we hop on to start on our journey. I wait for a big gap in the road but just as I'm starting to pull off the shoulder another bike pulls over to the side in front of us. Instead of stopping and waiting to see what they were doing i kept going. Since I'm no good at navigating these things i accelerated too much with out turning and almost ran into the other bike and swerved to the right and before I knew it the bike had tipped and we were grazing the ground. It was on top of me and I was squished. They picked up the bike and a crowd formed and I didn't realize how badly hurt I was. I could see a huge bump on my leg (thought it was a fracture) and I was all scraped up. I was crying hysterically. I felt faint, dizzy. Then scott came over and looked at my arm and said "don't look at your arm" that's when I started going nuts. Hyperventilating, crying, dizzyness, the whole thing. Before I knew it I was in a van going to the hospital.

The nurses were very nice. Tina, Tania, and Dr. Pooja - al women. They wiped me clean. I was completely covered in dirt and dust. I have a huge gaping gash in my right arm - really deep. Luckily its on the underside and I never got to see it. 9 stiches. I got x-rays for my leg but its fine - just a bruised muscle.

I feel like a compelte royal idiot statistic dumb american stupid head. I shouldn't have gone in the first place. Scott would have been fine without me and I didn't want to go. I shouldn't have driven - especially on a main road. So dumb. so dumb. Pretty much the only good thing I did was have a helmet on because otherwise things would be a lot worse.

The medical bills were not so much. For my stiches and medication and x-rays and everything it was 1,200 ruppees. about 30 bucks. The expensive part was the bike. It got pretty messed up in the sort of have to replace the whole bumper kind of way. That pretty much was my fancy hotel in Delhi money - but I'm a big stupid dummy face so I guess I deserve it.

Now I'm a gimp on the beach and a walking advertisement to be careful and not stupid. I can't go in the water anymore which kind of sucks, but I can still lie in the shade under the coconut umbrellas and read Henry Miller. The boys have lots of wonderful books that I have had the opportunity to read which is great. I have been exposed to many new authors - namely Milan Kundera and Henry Miller. I think I would have gone crazy without their extensive library.


but anyway, that's that. Never a dull moment. Not one. Even when you think you're bored on the beach.